Ring DoorBell Pro Review – Piece of Fucking Shit

Yep.  My blog.  I can say whatever I want.  The Ring Doorbell platform is a piece of fucking shit.

I had a Ring Doorbell for a couple of years and it would intermittently die, would not connect to a live stream if I got a notification and would die for days only to come back to life mysteriously.

So brilliant guy I am I bought another one to replace it.  A Ring Doorbell Pro.   It is two wires and an app connection yet somehow it took me two hours to install and I’m a geek.

It’s a piece of fucking shit.  When it did finally install after I found an obscure reference in their forum that said to turn off cellular data on the phone while installing it was hit or miss on live view.

I got a hair emotional when I wrote this😃.  I’ve edited to add a fact or two but my review stands mostly as is.

So……..anyway, the doorbell WILL NOT INSTALL.  It seems like it is going to install and then it throws me to this screen on the app where YOU ARE STUCK.

Fuck Your App, Ring

Then when I would shut down the app and reopen it……..MY FUCKING CAMERA SEEMED TO BE INSTALLED………WELL EXCEPT FOR THE FACT YOU COULDN’T CONNECT TO IT.

Then……..you couldn’t delete the damn thing.  Spin, spin, spin goes the activity ball on the screen.  Very fucking entertaining.

So again I find a reference in the support forums that basically says “Our shit might not install if your cellular data is activated on your phone”.  Holy mother of fuck.  Why would I want my cellular data enabled on my phone?  Oh Dopey Me.

So I shut it down and reset the (piece of fucking shit) doorbell for maybe the 15th time and Whoa be unto me……..it installs.  At this point I can’t believe it.  And then I click on “Live View” and……………..FUCKING NOTHING.  “Cannot Connect”.  It’s the fault of your network it says.

Horse Fucking Shit.

Then buried in the forums it says to turn your wifi off.  First turn off your cellular……..now turn off the wifi.  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Fuck Ring and their fucking app.

Oddly enough the web interface seems to work just fine but get this, there is no Live View on the web interface.   Just video from 2 minutes ago of the terrorists breaking in and killing you while you wait for a doorbell notification that isn’t forthcoming.

Fuck Ring.

So basically my old Ring and new one are roughly the same model.  I took the old one apart and I’m going to fix it.  What happens is they have a non removable battery in them that is buried under the motherboard.  Once this battery goes bad, the Ring is dead.  Period.  End of Story.  During it’s death throes your Ring will die and then maybe the 18 volts from your doorbell transformer will give it a sip of power enough for it to come back to life.   Anyway, know that this style of Ring Doorbell has a finite life span on it based on a battery you cannot change.

Ring Engineers and their product designed to fail

The battery does have a little heater pad glued to it.  That way it’ll stay nice and warm while it’s fucking dead.

Oh and by the way……THE FUCKING BATTERY IS ALL FAT AND SWOLLEN UP.  GEE NO FIRE HAZARD HERE 🙄.

Well, Hello You Fat Little Bastard

Just like poking a dead possum with a stick.

Fire Department Fire Investigator:  “I found the cause of the fire.   Dumb ass bought a Ring”. 

That was kind of a joke but just a minute ago I googled “ring doorbell fire” and get this:  Ring issued a recall for 350,000 devices because, hey, the batteries might catch on fire.  The linked article is dated Nov 11th, 2020.

I have Reolink Cameras THAT JUST FUCKING WORK. 24/7.  No bullshit.  Ring doorbells are horse fucking no good pieces of shit.   The engineers at Ring should kill themselves.

As long as I live I will never own another fucking Ring Doorbell.   They also don’t play that nice with Open Source Home Automation.  Well, they did, and now they don’t.

Fuck Ring.

Wait, let me grab my phone and see if it will Live View.  Nope.  Wait. I turned off the WiFi and now it’s Live Viewing.  YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME.  All this thing is good for is recording your death.

Fuck Ring.

 

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